


Regardless of the consequences

by Boysrus



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drug Use, Fighting over alaska, Jealousy, M/M, Smut, Violence, sad sex, sad shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:21:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24834505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boysrus/pseuds/Boysrus
Summary: Aaron is in a downward spiral. Hes recently lost his boyfriend Justin to a smug Brian, hes drinking more than ever, and his mentality is utterly fucked. He always thought Justin would come running back, what will he do when he doesnt?
Relationships: Alaska Thunderfuck 5000/Katya Zamolodchikova, Sharon Needles/Alaska Thunderfuck 5000
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Regardless of the consequences

**Author's Note:**

> I prefer M/M stories seeing as im a guy, but i know F/F is more popular so im sure this wont get as much love as my Trixya story but its okay. Enjoy if youre reading <3  
> Also a fair warning this is angsty as fuck and it contains HEAVY alcoholism.

The last slip of vodka slid down Aarons throat easily. No burn. With the bottle useless and empty, his hands no longer felt compelled to hold it and it slipped to the floor with a loud shattering noise. He stumbled from the kitchen to the couch, the short walk rendered infinitely more difficult by the alcohol clouding his senses. Distorting the world. Tears streamed down his face, stained with black. He had only haphazardly wiped his makeup off before drowning his sorrows. 

He couldnt handle being on tour with Justin, and even worse now, Brian. He almost broke down on stage trying to keep up friendly banter for the fans after singing 'Kai Kai' as Sharon and Alaska.

Thats what nobody saw, they would 'ship' the two of them because everyone thought they were hot. But nobody saw the raw emotion. Nobody saw how Aaron longed to run his fingers through Justins thick hair just one last time. He would give anything to take back the way he treated the younger queen. He would pay any amount of money to reverse time and treat Justin like the angel he is. To go back and not pick up that can of beer.

Now here he was, indulging the vice because it didnt matter anymore, did it? Justin was gone, he met someone who kicked drugs, kicked alcohol when he couldnt. He was weak compared to Brian. The thought made his chest burn with rage, and the tears streamed faster as he threw the TV remote across the room, burying his face in his hands.

He remembered on the tour bus, sitting across from Justin and Brian as they shared stories and loud, obnoxious laughs. He could smell Justins vanilla perfume from where he sat. He never wore that much, it was more than usual. More for Brian.

Aaron could remember onstage in LA when a fan in the audience yelled out something along the lines of "SHALASKA IS REAL"  
And Justin made a gagging noise, flipping his long blonde wig and batting his outrageous eyelashes as he spoke in his slow, drawling voice.  
"Sharon already loves herself, theres no room for me in the relationship,"

But there was room, and at this moment, Aaron didnt love himself. He hated everything about him. He hated that he won drag race before Justin. He hated that he drank, he hated his egotistical personality that seemed to drive Justin away. People would jokingly tell him that he was 'All about Sharon' and he would laugh and agree to keep up his facade.

He wiped his tears roughly, scratching his own silicone face with ragged nails.

He felt blindly on the couch for his phone and when his shaking fingers closed around it he already regretted it. A new post on instagram from katya_zamo  
Of course Brain had to post about Justin right now. Of course they had to be snuggled together in a reclining chair, Justin sprawled across Brians lap. He saw the way they looked at eachother. Justin used to look at him like that. As if he hung the stars and held the world in his hands. 

He just wanted one more chance to prove himself, to prove to Justin that he was better than Brian. He was the only one for him. His soul mate. 

He would do anything, he vowed, anything to get him back.

He set his phone down with uncharacteristic care. Not bothering to lock it, leaving the screen open to the picture. 

He thought about the last time they had sex. It wasnt a happy memory. It was horribly disconnected. As Aaron moved inside Justin, they were physically as close as they could be. But Justin had never felt further from his grasp. Sometimes you had to give into primal instincts, accept that as a human, youre just a bunch of nerve endings. And sometimes all you can do is feel. Overload your system with sex. Or numb it with alchol.

After he finished, he told Justin he loved him. And he didnt get a response. 

Two weeks later they were screaming at eachother, Justin was locked in the bathroom calling Brian while Aaron pounded on the door, drunk and desperate. He had already lost Justin months before, but this drunken breakdown was the icing on the cake.

He felt utterly hopeless as his head spun, his eyes puffy and sore from crying. He let the alcohol swim into his blood stream as he felt his head becoming heavier. 

He gave into the urge and laid down. Willing his body to sleep, he didnt want to feel and the alcohol wasnt making it better. 

He had a show tomorrow night. Another battle of the seasons. Meaning Brian and Justin would both be attending as a winner and a fan favorite. Just another reminder of how much better Brian was than him. It was hard to hold his composure when all he wanted was to punch Brian in that sculpted face with no work done. He wanted to scream at him for taking his Justin away from him. He should know better than to fuck with what belongs to Sharon Needles. 

Aaron told himself that he would get his Justin back, regardless of the necessary method. Regardless of the consequences.  
He would do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> If youre reading please comment, i love feedback


End file.
